The Five Mistakes I Made That Led Me to You
by Catastrophia
Summary: At 30, Edward realizes that he made five monumental mistakes in his life, but what he didn't realize was that those mistakes would be profoundly life altering; leading him to her. A romantic drabble in EPOV.
1. The Beginning

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Once again, another story that wouldn't be denied.**

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><p>The Five Mistakes That Led Me to you<p>

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Did you ever wonder where you went wrong? Or maybe not where you went wrong, but what decision you made in your life that led you to where you were now?

I did. Every day since I was eighteen.

That was where I went wrong, when my life plan got screwed up. The first mistake that led me to where I was today. Not that it was all bad, but it was where my journey began, the one that led me to her.

I didn't go to college right away, choosing to earn some money and live life to the fullest before higher learning was really required. Mistake number one.

I did it just to spite my father, I knew that now. He wanted me to be a carbon copy of him, and I wanted nothing to do with it.

'Hindsight is twenty-twenty'- one of the many lessons of my story.

I was a drifter, a dreamer, living off of my parents until one day they had enough. Minimum wage didn't pay the bills and they offered me a deal; go to college, get a job and they would pay my way as long as I kept my grades up or… get the hell out of their home.

Otherwise known as, how my grandmother of all people put it, 'shit or get off the pot'. Lovely, my grandmother was; such a way with words.

So, at twenty one I enrolled in college. I majored in Business Management and Engineering, gaining a double major in five years, graduating with honors.

I never said I was stupid, just lazy to spite my father. Once I put my mind to something, there was no stopping me.

Which led to mistake number two.

One word: Lauren.

The crazy, psycho, cheating, fucking bitch that I met in my last year in college. She was with me from the formation of my company to its rise. I trusted her.

I married her.

For two years I worked my ass off to get my company off the ground. Two years that she was screwing my vice president on my desk.

And my accountant, the machinist, and the guy from the mail room.

Married for ninety seven days and she took me to the fucking cleaner.

Fucking bullshit. She cried a fucking river and the judge took pity on her and fucking screwed me. The bitch smiled at me on her way out of the court room.

Karma eventually came back around and bit her in the ass though. Some guy she was living with emptied out her bank account; all of the money she had gotten from me that remained, and left her with a mountain of bad debt in only her name. _Take that bitch!_

It took a while, but my company was now soaring. We were a contract company, doing many engineering projects and machining for larger companies. Outsourcing was big; companies didn't make all of their own parts any longer. That was where _Masen Engineering_ stepped in.

I was working a ton, day in and day out. I started out with seven employees and after four years I had over three hundred spread across four buildings.

My life was finally coming together… at least in respects to my company. My first two mistakes seemed to be reattributed, but who know I had three more mistakes on the horizon of my life.

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><p><strong>2 mistakes down!<strong>


	2. Just Smile

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Once again, another story that wouldn't be denied.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: Just Smile<p>

Even though I could now reflect happily on my professional life, my personal life on the other hand was stagnant. Lauren's betrayal left a sour taste in my mouth and the inability to trust women. I had a handful of one night stands, but never any dates. Dates could lead to relationships, and I just wasn't ready to put my heart out there again. Not that I had met anyone that remotely appealed to me.

A few years later, on my thirtieth birthday, there was mistake number three. My biggest 'sliding door'. The biggest 'what if'. How different would my life have been if that one little mistake hadn't happened and changed everything in my life? Though I wasn't certain if I should count it on the mistake side, or the blessing side.

My best friend Emmett and I were out and about and, as Emmett would say, on the prowl. Though I was pretty sure Em's wife would kick his ass if she heard him say that.

We were at a bar, having a drink after a nice dinner to celebrate my turning the big three zero, when I saw her across the room. She had a crowd around her, cheering her on, as she downed five straight shots of tequila. Her face scrunched when the liquor hit the back of her throat.

"What's she doing?" I questioned, not realizing it was out loud.

"She does that every year on this day. One shot for every year since her husband was killed in combat," the bartender answered, shaking his head, a sad expression on his face. "God rest his soul."

I didn't ask for details, though I wanted to, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. The crowd had dissipated and she was left alone, standing at a table with tears rolling down her cheeks. I saw the dog tags draped around her neck, and the Cubs jacket she wore that was many sizes too big for her small frame.

She was pretty, dainty, and I had the strangest urge to settle her tears. I wanted to see her smile. Something inside me told me I would love her smile.

Before I knew what I was doing I had ordered two shots from the bartender and was walking over to her.

"One more," I said, setting the glass down in front of her. She sniffed; her brow scrunching as she looked from the glass to me.

"What are we drinking to?" she asked, her voice rough from crying.

"It's my birthday. I hit thirty, so I am doing my first dirty old man thing."

She smiled and, fuck, if it wasn't the most beautiful smile in the world. I knew I was in trouble then, I just didn't know how badly.

"Thirty. Wow, your life is on the downward slope now, you are totally fucked, whatever will you do?" she questioned, joking with me.

She had bite, I liked her already. "Hmm… be an insensitive jerk and hit on a beautiful girl who is crying in a bar?"

"Hey, even crying girls like to be hit on," she replied, smiling up at me and I was happy to see her tears dry up. She picked the drink up and held her hand in the air. "To being a dirty old man."

I laughed and did the same, our glasses clinking together before tipping them back. It burned my throat as it went down and I smacked my hand on the table.

"So," she started, "what are we drinking to next, dirty old man? Maybe I should call you DOM."

"Edward," I said with a roll of my eyes at the nickname she had given me. "How about world peace? That seems to be the one people always drink to."

"I've got a better one for you, Edward. How about… new friends?"

"I could use some new friends…"

"Bella."

"Bella."

I liked the way her name rolled off my tongue and the blush that spread on her cheeks when I said her name. At least I always liked to think it was blush, it could have been the booze.

We sat there, drinking and talking for a few hours. It had been so long since I'd been interested in a woman and Bella was very interesting. I had completely forgotten I had come with Emmett until I felt a buzz in my pocket.

**You look too cozy. I'm out. Grab a taxi. – Em**

I moved back to my conversation with the beautiful Bella, my hands lightly caressing hers. She was more than just beautiful; she was smart and funny as well. The banter we had back and forth was filled with innuendos and flirtatiousness. The drinks kept coming and coming , and the conversation kept flowing and flowing as the time passed, to the point where the evening came to an unwelcomed end; the bar was closing and I wasn't ready to say goodbye.


	3. Why Do I Do The Things I Do?

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Once again, another story that wouldn't be denied.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her betaing and support!**

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><p>Chapter 3: Why Do I Do The Things I Do?<p>

After the last call was made we left the bar together, my hand gently guiding her out into the crisp night air and I couldn't help but lean down to kiss her. I'd wanted to do it all night and my inhibitions were long gone, as were hers, and I was thankful at that moment. The kiss was electrifying and I never wanted it to end. Her fingers wound into my hair, pulling me closer to her. I would have fucked her right then if some idiot hadn't shouted out for us to get a room.

She grabbed my hand, smirking up at me, and we walked down the street until we came to some brick building. We headed up the flights of stairs until we reached what I assumed was her apartment, she had a key for it at least.

We made our way in and she pushed me up against the wall just inside the door, her lips crashing to mine.

We stumbled around the room, bumping into things. I heard a crash more than once followed by an 'oh, shit', but didn't know if it was her or I that said it. We somehow made it onto a bed, clothes flying everywhere. Lips, teeth, and tongues biting and tasting any flesh they could find. She was so soft and warm in my hands and I wanted more, I needed more.

Before I knew it, I was inside her, my cock buried to the hilt in her tight wet warmth. Fucking bliss. My hips thrust against her wanting more, needing more, and pounding into her.

She was screaming, crying, and begging for more. Panting as her nails dug into my skin, pulling me toward her. Her hands moved to my hair and pulled on my unruly locks. I never wanted to stop, never wanted it to end. I was in heaven, my cock rejoicing in the new home it had found, but even drunk I couldn't hold out forever.

My body tensed and I screamed out as I emptied inside of her. Bliss, fucking white lighted bliss, and then everything was black.

Mistake number four, my most regrettable mistake, happened after that night. A poor, hung over decision that haunted me for months.

I awoke the next morning to the glaring sun and a splitting headache. I had no clue as to where I was, or who the beautiful woman was lying beside me.

Flashes of the night before rushed into my mind. The bar, the shots, the girl, her laugh, her smile, her beauty.

Bella. Beautiful Bella.

Being inside her, fucking her until we were both screaming in pleasure.

My tired burning eyes looked down at her and I smiled. Even with her hair all tossed in a birds nest, her make-up smeared on her face, she was still beautiful. My hand reached out to caress her lovely skin. It was so smooth and pale, so soft beneath my fingers.

I wanted to touch her more; down her spine, over the curve of her perfectly round ass, her legs, and back up her inner thigh to the fucking Promised Land. My cock stirred at the thought, despite my pounding headache.

That was when it hit me. I hadn't felt this way about someone in years… since Lauren in the beginning. I had to get out. I had to go, despite how much I wanted to stay. It was not good, _no_… definitely not what I wanted.

I jumped out of bed, used the bathroom, then located my clothing, quickly getting dressed before she woke. I agonized over leaving my number, my name… anything. Instead, I chickened out and left a fucking pathetic, jackass note.

_Bella,_

_Thank you for a very memorable 30th birthday._

_Edward_

Fucking ass. I was a fucking ass. I knew it, but I still left it.

I'd only known her for one evening, but even through my drunk brain I knew it was a night I would never forget. She was a woman I would never forget. And that right there scared the fucking shit out of me.

Quietly, I exited her apartment, locking the door behind me.

I stumbled out onto the concrete walkway and toward the street. I looked each way, but nothing was familiar. Having no clue where I was, I began walking. I passed a sign saying 'East River Street', and shortly thereafter I happened upon a cab.

I felt uneasy from the moment I walked out of her door. Uneasy as the cab drove me further and further away.

_Now _I knew it was one of the biggest transgressions of my life.

Hindsight was a bitch.

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><p><strong>Just wait...<strong>


	4. Can You Show Me What I'm Looking For?

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Once again, another story that wouldn't be denied.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her betaing and support!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4 - Can You Show Me What I'm Looking For?<p>

For weeks I was tormented by her smell, her taste, her laugh… everything that I had learned about her during that one incredible night I spent with her. At the end of week four I couldn't take it any longer, I had to find her. I _needed_ to find her.

I remembered where the bar was and headed there. Once out of my car I began walking, trying to find the road, hoping I would bump into her.

After wandering around for half an hour I found it, 'East River Street' - her street, and I wanted to cry. The whole damn street was lined with brick apartment buildings, brick townhouses, and brownstones. How the fuck was I going to figure out which one was hers?

The truth was… I wasn't. There was no way in hell I could decipher which place was hers; they were just too similar and my memory was too foggy from that night and subsequent morning after. The street was long and I couldn't remember anything more that the fact that it was a brick building on East River Street. Fuck. I wanted to ask her out. I wanted to kiss her lips. I just wanted to be near her.

Karma was a fucking bitch. I found myself angry again that I hadn't gotten some way to stay in contact with her. Hell, even her damn last name! But no, I decided to keep it casual.

Defeated, I headed home to a bottle of Jack to drink my sorrows away for letting her get away.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and still I thought about her. I was never able to find her. I even begged the bartender for her last name, but he wouldn't budge. I gave him my business card and asked him if he would give it to her the next time he saw her.

That was over four months ago; six months since I'd met her.

I never stopped thinking about her, some part of my brain was always running the 'what if' scenarios. The image I was building in my mind was probably better than the real thing, but I still wanted to know the real thing.

"Mr. Masen, there is a woman here to see you," Emily announced through the speaker phone, breaking me away from my latest daydream.

"I thought I had asked not to be disturbed," I said with a sigh of annoyance.

"She said it's very important and cannot wait," Emily stressed.

"Fine, send her in. Five minutes," I stressed, letting her know to interrupt me before too much time had passed. I had way too much on my plate with everyone getting ready to go on leave for the holidays, to be wasting time on an unscheduled meeting. Many of the companies we did work for wanted parts completed by the end of the week.

The door slowly creaked open and I was trying to settle my annoyance at the disturbance in the middle of my busy day. My annoyance went right out the window, my mouth dropping open, as she walked through the doorway.

"Bella," I whispered as she entered my office.

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><p><strong>hehehehe... cliffy. :)<strong>


	5. The World Comes Crashing Down

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Once again, another story that wouldn't be denied.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her betaing and support!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 – The World Comes Crashing Down<p>

_Bella._

Bella was there in my office… and she was tense, but I watched her shoulders relax a bit when she heard me call her name.

"Hi, Edward," she replied, giving me a small smile.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of her; she was even more beautiful than I remembered. She seemed to be glowing and I suddenly began berating myself again for not getting her number or leaving mine. Which then led me to…

"How did you find me?"

Her shoulders tensed again and she looked down at the floor. "I need to talk to you… in private."

I suddenly grew nervous. _In private? What was it about? Was she sick? Did she have something and give it to me? Oh God!_

I stood and began to walk toward her, trying to do something to get my mind off of the impending doom I was imagining. "Let me take your coat."

She held her hand up. "It's fine, I can get it." She took a deep breath, as if to steady herself and I desperately wanted to know what weighed so heavily on her.

Her shoulders shrugged the coat off and she pulled her arms through then set it on the chair behind her. I was frozen solid as I looked at her form. No, she wasn't sick, not in the traditional way, but I was beginning to believe she had given me something… or rather I had given her something.

Her hands made soothing circles on the protruding mound that was her stomach and her eyes locked onto mine.

"Happy thirtieth Birthday, Edward. You made a baby," she said calmly.

I swallowed thickly at her words, my knees began to buckle and I had to lean against my desk for support.

Baby? _Oh, fuck! How in the hell did that happen? Well, Masen, you fucked an unknown girl while you were drunk, which meant you had no idea if she was on birth control and were probably too whacked out to remember to use a fucking condom!_

"Look, I'm not here for anything, I just want to talk," she assured me. "Just talk. Is there somewhere we can go?"

"I… umm… y-yeah. T-there's… restaurant," I stuttered, my brain still stuck on the word baby. That and her telling me that I impregnated her on my fucking thirtieth birthday… which was also the anniversary of her husband's death.

She put her coat back on as I grabbed mine and escorted us to the elevators.

"Emily, I'll be back," I called out to my secretary as we stepped into the elevator car.

Once we reached the lobby and exited the building, we headed down the street to a place I ate at regularly. We found a secluded booth and ordered a drink. The air was tense and awkward as we waited for our drinks. I was still in shock, by her presence and her news.

Still, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I thought I'd never see her again and there she was; more beautiful than the night I met her.

"Are you sure…" I trailed off, not wanting to be more of a jackass than I had already been, but needing to know for certain that it was mine.

She seemed to be expecting my question and slid a piece of paper across the table. My eyes scanned it and, sure enough, the date of conception had been the night we were together, the night of my birthday celebration.

"This is for you," she said, pulling something else out and sliding a sonogram picture across the table to me. My eyes widened as I gazed upon the baby, our baby. At the top of the photos edge it read: Baby Girl Whitlock.

Baby girl.

The three dimensional image showed every detail of her tiny face.

She had my lips.

"I'm not asking for anything, Edward. I just had to find you and let you know, that way you could decide whether or not you wanted to be in her life."

"Do you need money?" I asked, still in shock and awe at the photo in my hands.

"That's not why I'm here!" she yelled across the table, her hands slamming against the wooden top. My eyes snapped to hers and then looked around the room to the gawkers. She shook her head and lowered her voice. "I don't need your fucking money, Edward. Are you even listening to me?"

"I… what do you want then?"

She huffed and shook her head before taking off on a rant. "You weren't fucking listening. I don't want _anything_ from you. I can do this on my own. I'm just here, with an olive branch, giving you a choice to be in her life or not. She is your fucking daughter after all. It took a fucking lot to track you down. You didn't leave me your last name, or a number, nothing! I saw your picture on a magazine, that's how I found you. You probably didn't give me a second thought when you walked out my door. I know I'm just a fucking one night stand to you, you probably have them a lot, and you couldn't care less about me. But I'm here for her, to try and give my daughter the opportunity to know her father."

I flinched from her words, they stung and rightfully so, but I was still too stunned to speak. I had no idea what to say. Less than two hours ago I was a single guy, running a growing company, with no children. Now I was… lost. A baby? A baby with a woman I didn't even know? Did I want to get to know her? I knew the answer to that one, because I'd thought of no other woman except her for the past six months.

She stood from the booth, tired of my silence, the movement awkward due to the swell of her stomach. "Here's my card," she said, flicking the small piece of cardboard at me. I picked it up and read the small print; Isabella Whitlock, Editor, Chicago Tribune. "Call me if you want, don't call me, I don't really fucking care at this point."

She threw her coat on and grabbed her purse. "Merry Christmas, Edward," she said as she walked away from me and out the door.

Like a fucking moron, I just stared after her. I just sat in the booth for almost an hour looking at the picture in my hand when my phone buzzed, calling me back to my reality. I was late for an appointment with a manager from one of our contracts.

Throwing a fifty on the table I grabbed my coat and the picture and left, walking the opposite direction that she had.

Mistake number five was letting Bella walk out of that restaurant and out of my life.

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><p><strong>Oh no!<strong>


	6. Lost

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Once again, another story that wouldn't be denied.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

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><p>Chapter 6 - Lost<p>

When I returned home that night I pulled the picture of the baby from my laptop bag. I studied her features and wondered what color her eyes would be. Would she have my hair, or Bella's?

All thought left me as I stared at the photo. What was I going to do? A baby? I didn't have a damn clue about what to do with a baby.

I had tried, I honestly felt like I had tried to find her, but she didn't know that. Looking back now though, I guess I gave up way too soon, that much was obvious. I was left pondering how I could have screwed things up any worse than I had already.

Bella had such fire in her. She was intelligent, funny, beautiful, and best of all, real. No games, no gimmicks, she gave it to you straight. Old wounds reared their ugly heads, spreading ugliness through my mind. They were saying that I didn't really know her, that she was just like Lauren; a cheating gold digger.

But, that wasn't true, was it? No, I knew the answer was a definite _no. _She had a good job; she repeated over and over that she didn't want money. She just wanted her daughter to know her father.

But could I trust that? Could I trust her?

I knew, for my daughter's sake, I had to try.

Father. Shit. I was going to be a father in three months.

I drifted off to sleep, images of Bella dancing through my head, my little girls face swirling in the background.

My little girl.

For the following four days I was hell to work with and I knew my employees were happy to be getting the holidays off. I'd fallen asleep every night staring at her picture, trying to figure out what in the hell I was going to do.

As I packed for my parents' house, dreading the four days I would be trapped with them, I contemplated not taking her with me. I lost that battle pretty quickly, and put her in with my laptop.

A few hours later I was struggling to pull my bags up the snow covered steps of my parents' large brownstone.

I was distracted that first night. Work was shelved for the days following, so besides a little paper work, I didn't have that to dwell on as much, so my thoughts were constantly flickering to her. I knew my mother noticed, but she didn't say anything.

I pulled her picture from my bag before bed, my fingers lightly tracing her features. I slipped her back into the bag before turning the light off, not ready to share her with anyone who might stumble in before I awoke.

The next day my mother and aunt somehow managed to drag me out shopping, probably since my cousin Kate wasn't in town yet. Though, I did need to pick up some gifts.

We were walking through a department store when I was halted in my tracks. I had never paid much attention to the children's section before, but now my eyes were trained on a little tiny red Christmas dress. My fingers unconsciously moved to run along the fabric as I imagined what my little girl would look like wearing it.

"Edward?" my aunt questioned, her voice bringing me out of my vision. I looked down at her and swallowed hard, she was eyeing me curiously, her gaze flickering from mine to the garment where my fingers still rested. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything is fine, Esme," I assured her, dropping my hand back to my side.

"What is taking so long?" my mother asked, doubling back to find us.

"Sorry, just looking at something."

She eyed me and huffed. "Edward Anthony, you are going to tell me what is wrong with you at some point this weekend. You're just… out there. Where are you?"

My hands rubbed over my eyes and into my hair. "I don't know, mom. Things are just… complicated right now."

"Three days, Edward," she stressed and I knew my mother would find some way to get the secret out of me.

Honestly, I knew I couldn't stand to see the disappointment in her eyes when she learned that I had treated Bella in such an insensitive way. I didn't mean to, but, as I've said before,' hindsight is twenty twenty'.

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><p><strong>what to do, what to do...<strong>


	7. All I Want For Christmas Is Her

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Once again, another story that wouldn't be denied.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7 – All I Want For Christmas Is Her<p>

My cousin Kate arrived with her husband Garrett and their two kids, Marc and Mia, later that day. All evening, I couldn't help but watch as everyone interacted with Mia. She was only three and cute as could be. She had everyone wrapped around her chubby little fingers. My mind wandered to three years down the line. Would my little girl be here for Christmas? Would she spend the holidays with my family, running around chasing her older cousins?

I was about to get up for a drink when Kate sat down beside me, her eyes were trained on Mia as she spoke. "Edward, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I thought about her questione, thought about how much I should tell her right at that moment. "Kate, what was it like when you found out you were pregnant? Were you two trying, or was it a surprise?"

She eyed me suspiciously, trying to figure out what I was hiding.

"Well, Marc was planned. We were trying to have a baby. After I had Marc, we didn't try not to have a baby, but we weren't planning on having them so close together, so I guess Mia was a bit of a surprise," she answered, thankfully keeping her questions to herself.

"When you found out about Mia… how did you react?"

"Edward, what is going on?"

"Please, Kate."

She huffed. "Well, it was a shock of course. We weren't really planning it, but we were still happy about it. Now, are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on with you?"

I shook my head. "I met a woman and she has me… thinking about a lot of things."

"She has you thinking you might want to get rid of that chip on your shoulder that the bitch left?"

I nodded. "But I've fucked up a bit because of that and I don't know… I don't know what to do now. I don't know how to trust anymore."

"Just talk to her, Edward. Have you told her about what happened with Lauren?"

"No."

"Well, start with that. Then she might understand a bit more about your asshole like tendencies."

I grimaced. "That's a start."

Christmas Day went off without a hitch, Marc and Mia making out like bandits. Kate, Garrett, and the kids headed out to Garrett's family shortly after lunch and I was left alone again with my parents and my aunt and uncle.

I was staring out the window the next morning, the cup of coffee in my hands had run cold, when my mother's hands slammed down against the table in front of me.

"That is enough, Edward! What is going on?" she demanded annunciating each word firmly.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing I had to tell her. I stood from the table and motioned for her and my aunt to follow me back to my bedroom. I pulled the picture from my bag and handed it to my mother before sitting down on the bed.

"What's this?" she questioned; her eyes wide with shock. "What is this, Edward?"

"My baby," I explained, swallowing thickly, knowing what was next.

"Who is Isabella Whitlock?" Esme asked, taking the picture from my mother.

I took a deep breath before going into the story of Bella, how we met, and spent our first night. My mother pinched me hard a couple of times during my take, twisting the skin as she went, when she disapproved of something I had done or said to Bella. She then smacked the back of my head when I told her I let her walk away at the restaurant.

I loved my mother, very much, but she was mean when she was pissed and at that moment she was very pissed at me.

"Edward Anthony, I will know my grandbaby. You call this girl up and let her know you will have your daughter in your life. That you want this sweet baby girl. I know you do, I can see it in the way you've been acting," she commanded before shaking her head. "I thought we brought you up to be a better man than that. I know we did."

"You did, mom, I just… fucked up."

"Language, Edward!" she yelled, smacking me on the arm and pursing her lips.

"Edward, we expect to see a beautiful little girl next year at Christmas," Esme stressed, pressing the issue further. My mind was already made up; I was going to do whatever Bella wanted me to do; starting with taking ownership of my mistakes and my daughter.


	8. Static Hold

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 8 – Static Hold<p>

After Christmas, I called the number on the business card Bella had given me a week prior. It went directly to voicemail stating that she would be out until after the New Year.

Great. Another week until I could talk to her. Why had she only giving me her work number?

I spent part of the week on work, but it was hard to get anything done due to everyone being on vacation leave for the holidays. So, I did what I could and spent the remainder of the time thinking, and hanging out with Emmett when I could drag him out for a few hours.

"Dude, you knocked her up?" he questioned from across the table.

I wanted to disappear. Was it always going to be like that? Every time I told someone I knocked up a one night stand?

I thought about it. Yep, it was.

"Em, I… shit. I liked her, a lot. But when I left I wanted to leave my number and… fuck."

"Then why didn't you leave your fucking number, jackass?"

My head fell onto my arms that were resting on the table. "I don't know anymore, Em. Really, I don't. I know if she had woken before I left we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. We would have exchanged numbers before I kissed her goodbye that morning. And then, I would have taken her on a real date and probably never let her go."

"Man, you really do like her. Well, you have a few more days to figure out what to say to her. Good luck!" he encouraged, patting me hard on the back.

I spent New Year's Eve alone in my home with a bottle of Jack. It didn't have to be that way. If I'd given her my number or my name and hadn't left that fucking stupid piece of shit of a note, maybe… just maybe she and I would be ringing in the New Year together.

Fuck, I was an idiot. Beautiful girl walked into my life, so unlike the others and I didn't do anything about it. I just let her fall away.

Well, it's been said that with a New Year came new beginnings, so maybe there was hope for me yet.


	9. Found You!

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 9 – Found You!<p>

Going back to work after the New Year was chaotic to say the least. Everyone was back from vacation and rushing around. I worked nearly sixteen hours a day for the first week. Clearly, I never had much opportunity to call Bella. I tried the following Tuesday and Wednesday, but to no avail; it kept going straight to voicemail. It wasn't a conversation to be had over voicemail, so when Friday rolled around I decided to just go over and find her.

The Chicago Tribune was a few miles from my office, so it didn't take long to reach her. Luckily, her address included the floor she was on and I entered into the elevator.

Upon exiting, I was met with a bustling area filled with people scurrying around.

"I'm here to see Isabella Whitlock," I said to the first desk I came to.

He eyed me suspiciously before standing and turning toward the open floor.

"Hey, Isabella! There's some guy here to see you!" he yelled out across the busy floor.

My eyes scanned across the sea of desks to find her standing, talking to an employee, with a file in her hand. From the distance I could see how much her stomach had grown over the last four weeks as the fabric of her blouse stretched across the growing bulge.

I wanted to touch her, feel my little girl moving inside of her.

Fuck, I was an idiot asshole.

She walked toward the voice that had called out to her and made it a few steps before her eyes landed on mine. Her movements froze and she took a deep breath before waving me back. I pushed past the guard dog and through the rows of desks, earning more than one shocked stare as I made my way to her.

We stepped into a small office and I noticed the name plate that hung on the door. No, Bella didn't need my money. She wasn't some lowly editor on the totem pole, she was near the top.

"Come on in, Edward," she instructed, her hand gesturing for me to sit in one of the chairs opposite her desk.

She walked over to her chair and eyed it before she gingerly began lowering her body into it. She sighed in relief once she was settled and I began to wonder how many times she had issues trying to sit. Did the chair roll out from under her? Did it tip her off? Was she hurt? Was the baby hurt? I wanted to fucking light the thing on fire for even the possibility that it hurt my girls.

_Whoa… my girls? This was new!_

_Fuck, Edward. After four weeks, you'll be lucky if she even fucking talks to you._ I chastised myself as I wearily regarded the incredible woman who would soon be giving birth to my child.

After four weeks I would be lucky if she gave me anything past the time of day.


	10. Storming the Fort

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10 – Storming the Fort<p>

"So, this is a surprise. Honestly, after four weeks and no response I thought I had my answer. Are you here to tell me I'm wrong?" she questioned, her brow arching. I could almost see the stone wall she had built against me, complete with canons ready to decimate me.

"I'm sorry about that, but you dropped a fucking bomb shell on me! How was I supposed to react?" I questioned. "I was in shock, complete and utter shock. I searched for you after that night, left my card at the bar in hopes you would go back, but I couldn't remember where exactly you lived and all of the buildings were the same and I didn't know your name, and now I see why you never went back to the bar!" I vented; my hand waving at the obvious reason.

It was her turn to stare in wide eyed shock at my outburst.

"Shit, fuck," I cursed under my breath, my hands pulling at my hair in agitation. "I didn't mean to… tell you all that… quite yet."

There was silence, both of us unsure of what to say. A buzzer went off and a nasally voice came out over the speaker.

"Isabella, Seth's here. He says he has all the information and the pictures for the article, but he wants to go over them. We have fifteen minutes before print."

"Damn," she cursed then looked to me. Her jaw clenched a couple of times before she leaned forward and pressed the button. "Two minutes, then send him in."

"Ok, Edward," she said, leaning back into the chair. "You have less than two minutes."

"I want to know her, I want to love her," I spoke, putting as much conviction in my voice as I could. I needed her. "I also want to know you. I was interested in you from the beginning, but I… well, that's a story for later. If you will let me have a later, that is."

"So, let me get the gist of this whole conversation," she said, then began ticking off where I'd gone wrong. _Incoming!_ "You meet a woman in a bar that you are interested in, you go home with her. In the morning you leave without giving a last name or phone number and instead leave some jackass note that made her feel like a two-bit slut who just gave you a good night. But then you were kicking yourself for the jackass stupid move and tried to find her, only to fail. Then when she comes back into your life letting you know you're going to be a father you lose all ability to speak, act like a simpleton, and come begging for a chance to know her and your unborn child a month later. Do I have it all correct, Edward?"

Damn, she was pissed. Quick as well. If I didn't want her to keep my daughter from me, I was going to have to come up with something.

"Your two minutes are up, Edward."

"No," I argued. I wasn't going to leave.

"Yes. I don't have time for this right now," she stressed before awkwardly trying to get out of the chair. She looked like a turtle on its back. "Stupid fucking chair," she mumbled.

I walked over and offered her some help, which thankfully she did not object to.

"Then tonight," I said, her hands in mine as I pulled her to her feet.

"I can't."

"Please, Bella. Give me a chance, I'm really trying here," I begged.

She shook her head. "It's not that, Edward. I'm busy. I have a parenting class tonight."

Parenting class? Before I knew what I was saying, the words slipped out of my mouth. It was amazing how she could make me do that. "Can I… can I go with you?" I asked hopefully.

"It's a paid class, Edward. I don't think you could get in." There was a knocking at the door and it creaked open. "Thirty seconds!" she yelled, and the door was promptly shut. She sighed and looked up at me. "You can come and see if they will let you in, you may have to pay your way in, though."

I smiled from ear to ear, catching her off guard and she stared at me bewildered. "Umm," she started then leaned over to grab a pen and a piece of paper. "Here's my cell, give me a call around five and I will fill you in on the details."

She handed me the slip of paper and I quickly pulled out my phone. I didn't have a chance to input it when a young man came bursting into the door.

"Isabella! I've got it all; we've only got ten minutes!"

Bella looked up at me apologetically and waved me out before talking a mile a minute in editor speak. I walked out the door into the bustling sea of desks again and made my way back to the office hoping I had made the first step in correcting my mountain of mistakes.


	11. One Small Step

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11 – One Small Step<p>

I called just before five and she sounded a bit surprised. The directions she gave were for a local hospital that wasn't far from my office. I breathed a sigh of relief to know I wouldn't be far away when she went into labor… if she even allowed me to be there.

Luckily, it wasn't a full class, so they allowed me in for the evening with the understanding that any further classes I would need to sign up for in advance. I also learned that Bella was in a birthing class that had just started. I wondered if she would allow me to go with her to those as well.

The class talked about diapers and formula and breast pumps. My head was spinning after an hour with all the new information I had acquired. To be honest, it all scared the shit out of me.

To say I was freaking out, about the baby and the things I learned in the class, was an understatement, but I refused to let Bella see it.

I heard Bella snickering as she packed up her bag and I looked to find a smile on her face. "What?" I questioned.

"Nothing, you're just wearing the same expression I did when I found out I was pregnant."

"Really?" I questioned while realizing my attempt to not look freaked out had completely failed.

"The scared shitless, holy crap, what the hell have I gotten myself into look."

"Yeah, that about covers it," I agreed with a chuckle.

"You didn't have to come, Edward," she noted, her tone more serious.

"Yes, I did. I want to be in her life and this is part of her life, so here I am. It's just this is all very… new to me and I'm still trying to gain my bearings."

An awkward silence fell over us, neither knowing what to say. I hoped it wouldn't always be that way, but I knew if it was going to change I would have to open up to her at least a little.

"Would you be willing to go back to my place and talk?" I asked nervously, afraid she would turn me down.

She sighed. "I'm not going to bite you, Edward. Sorry, you just… I thought I had you figured out, but you keep doing and saying things that surprise me. Could we get some food first? I'm starving!"

I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "What are you hungry for?" I asked as we walked out to the parking lot.

The snow had left a new sheen over every surface while we were away, the salt covering the sidewalk barely able to compete with the rate of snow.

"I'm really craving a big plate of fried rice," she admitted shyly. Why she was shy about it, I didn't know, but if it would get her to stay I would get her whatever she wanted. "Oh! And some chips and salsa, and maybe some breadsticks. Yeah, with some cheese sauce."

She looked up at me; her eyes alight with the prospect of food, her hands rubbing her protruding belly. Then embarrassment and mortification set it and the most alluring blush blossomed on her cheeks.

"Sorry, she really gets my cravings for weird food combinations going."

"Don't apologize, I've heard that's very normal," I reassured her.

"Yeah, but still… I hardly know you, so it just seems weird to be telling you all… whoa!"

Out of the corner of my eye I watched her body jerk, slipping on a patch of slick concrete. My arms immediately shot out and wrapped around her, steadying her.

"I gotcha," I soothed, my hands making small circles on her back. Her head was just beneath mine and I couldn't help but breathe her in. She smelled wonderful.

She was shaking as the adrenaline rushed through her body, her hands gripped tightly onto the fabric of my coat.

"You ok?"

"Sorry, I should have been paying better attention to where I stepped," she apologized as she pulled away and righted herself.

"Just blame me with distracting you with the thought of food."

She let out a small laugh and smiled. "That works."

Bella followed me back to my place and I pulled out all of the delivery menus I could find. I told her to order whatever she wanted and she did just that. Food from three different restaurants was delivered an hour after our arrival.

We settled down to eat, observing each other quietly. I took a deep breath… now, it was time to talk.


	12. Opening Up Is Hard To Do

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 12 - Opening Up Is Hard To Do<p>

We didn't talk much while we ate, because Bella wasn't kidding when she said she was hungry. There was a lot of food leftover, definitely a case of her eyes being bigger than her stomach. Though I will admit she ate much more than I thought her tiny body could hold, and she did eat some of everything. Including my fajitas.

"Better?" I questioned as I cleared the table and put the leftovers away.

"Much," she said, rubbing soothing circles on her stomach.

"Everything ok?" I asked as I pulled the fried rice container from in front of her, noticing how she was intently looking at her stomach.

Bella smiled and pointed to a little bump just beneath her shirt and I watched as it moved across her stomach. "She likes spicy food. It really gets her moving."

I stared in fascination as our baby moved around, stretching against her confines.

"Can I… I mean… would it be ok if I… can I feel her?"

She nodded and beckoned me over, placing my hand over the area where she was moving. I felt a bump against my hand causing me to suck in a surprised breath. For a few minutes I sat there in awe as she punched, kicked, and stretched beneath my touch. I felt tears burn in my eyes and I closed them trying to rein in the flood of unfamiliar emotions coursing through me.

Bella cleared her throat. "So, are we going to have this talk?" she questioned, bringing me out of my little girl induced trance.

"I'm sorry," I said, standing up and leading her into the great room and more comfortable seating. Suddenly we were there, to the point where I needed to tell her everything, and I began looking around frantically for… anything. "I'm just now… it's been so long. I don't know where to begin, Bella."

"Why not tell me what was going on in your head at the bar. Why did you come over to me that night, because, in all honesty, I'm more and more confused by you with every passing minute I spend with you. I need to know why I should trust you, Edward."

Trust. I had to snort at her choice of words. "Ah, trust. That there…" I trailed off, shaking my head. "There was something about you. Something that drew me to you."

"But not enough for you to give me your name or number," she snapped, her good mood suddenly gone with a swing.

I flinched. "There's a story there."

"Are you going to tell me?" she questioned, annoyance lacing her tone at my stalling. I just didn't know how to tell a stranger about it, about my issues.

"Yeah, just… this isn't easy. It requires trust and that just isn't something I give freely… not anymore," I explained. "I was married… a few years ago. Lauren was her name. I met her in my last year in college, she was a junior. Lauren was pretty, and smart, and lively, and… a very good actress. We were together for about two years when we were married. Three months later it ended very badly. I caught her fucking the vice president of my company… on my desk. I loved her and was completely fucking shattered as I watched from the door. I then learned that she had been cheating on me the entire time we were together with various people, including those I trusted with my life and my business. After that I didn't know who to trust. I immediately filed for divorce and fired a dozen of my staff."

My hand reached up to my hair and began to tug in agitation while she sat quietly listening.

"I have one night stands, you were right about that. Not a lot, I don't fuck around all the time, but I'm also not a celibate monk either. So, it's the only way I'm going to get off other than by my own hand," I told her honestly, then continued on and sat down on the chair opposite to her. "I guess I should explain that I don't date. I haven't been on a date in years and that is by choice. That scared me about you, because after an hour of being with you that night, I wanted to take you on a date, I realized I wanted more."

"Why is a date such a dangerous prospect for you?" she questioned.

"Dates lead to relationships, relationships lead to a broken heart and the inability to trust anyone."

"Some dates never make it past the first," she argued.

I chuckled and shook my head. "There would have been a second one with you."

"How do you know?"

I smirked. "Because I would have done everything in my power to get you to go out with me again."

"So sure of yourself, Mr. Cullen?" she asked, quirking her brow.

I laughed. "I can be very persuasive when I want to be. Besides, I really liked you."

"You really liked me so you left me that shitty note instead of a way to contact you?" she accused again.

I groaned. "I tried to find you. I felt like such a fucking ass."

"You really tried to find me?" she questioned, her large brown eyes gazing at me skeptically.

"East River Street," I said and watched her eyes widen in surprise. "It was a brick building… but that was all I could remember. I walked up and down your street for about an hour trying to jog my memory."

I watched her take her bottom lip between her teeth. "Ok, Edward."

"Ok?"

"I believe you."

With those three words, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

* * *

><p><strong>The rest of their conversation soon to come!<strong>


	13. Where Do We Go From Here?

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 13 – Where Do We Go From Here?<p>

"So, are you going to tell me why you were there that night, wearing a jacket that was too big and dog tags around your neck?" I asked already knowing some of the facts.

She pursed her lips and nodded. "You opened up, so I should as well. Those items, the jacket and the tags, were my husband's."

She squirmed, trying to readjust herself to a more comfortable position.

"Jasper came from a military family, going all the way back to the civil war. So, when he turned eighteen he enlisted. I was going to the University of Texas, my sophomore year, when I met him. He was my friend Millie's oldest brother, the oldest of five. He had just been stationed in Texas and we hit it off. A year and a half later we were married," she recounted, her voice lowering. "After I graduated, I was offered a job at the Chicago Tribune. It was the same time he was called overseas, sent to Iraq. He came home after his first tour and four months later they called him back. It was a year later that they showed up at my door. I remember crumbling to the ground, screaming that it wasn't true, that they were wrong, and that it wasn't my Jasper. Begging them to take it all back, to bring him back to me."

She swallowed hard and wiped the tears that had trickled down from her eyes. I wanted to pull her into my arms and stroke her hair.

"I don't really drink much, but every year on the anniversary I take a shot for every year he's been gone. That is what I was doing when I met you."

"I know," I said, handing her a tissue.

Her brow scrunched and she looked up at me, taking the tissue I offered. "You know?"

"Tom, the bartender," I admitted. "I asked what was going on and he told us. I couldn't stand to see you crying like that, I wanted to make you smile. That's why I went over to you. I just wanted to see you smile."

"Tom really liked Jasper," she noted before eyeing me curiously. "That's why you came over to me? You wanted to see me smile?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "You were so sad and… you shouldn't be sad. Something inside me told me you had a beautiful smile and I… well, I wanted to see it. And then, not only did you have a beautiful smile, but a fascinating mind as well. You were witty, smart, and beautiful. A lethal combination for a dirty old man like myself." I quipped.

"I don't know how to take your flattery, Edward, especially with the way you left that morning."

"I wish you would just accept it, it is sincere, and I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

She shook her head. "Not for a while, I'm afraid."

"I don't really blame you," I noted with a sigh. "Trust."

She nodded.

"So, where does this leave us?" I questioned.

She shrugged her shoulders. "A bit of established trust and more understanding about one another."

"So, you'll let me be part of her life?"

She sighed and shook her head, her eyes imploring. "Edward, I would never _not_ let you be part of her life if you wanted to be. That's the whole reason I tried to find you. She deserves to have her father in her life."

I sighed in relief. "Good."

"But I will say though, if you're going to do this, you're going to do it all. Doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, classes, delivery, everything."

"Everything," I assured her. "I want to be there for everything."

"Ok," she said and reached down to her purse, pulled out a card and handed it to me. "Here, this is my OB. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Friday at four."

I immediately pulled out my cell phone and entered in the OB's name and number, and put the appointment into my calendar.

"It's getting late," she noted, pulling my attention away from my phone and back to her.

She was right, it was already ten. I walked over to her, extending my hands to help her up. Even with how large her belly had grown, she was still surprisingly light.

"Thank you," she said, a blush covering her cheeks.

I really wanted to know why she was blushing, that way I could make her do it again.

"Let me walk you to your car."

"I'll be fine, don't worry," she protested.

"Please, Bella. It's dark, it's slippery, and I don't want anything…" I trailed off; my head leaning back to look up at the ceiling. "Why does this have to be so complicated?"

She offered me a small smile and I watched a tear fall from her eye before she looked to the ground. "I don't know."

"Tell me I wasn't the only one. Tell me you felt something too," I begged. Every moment I was with her the more I was drawn to her, even with our strained circumstance.

"I wouldn't have taken you home otherwise," she admitted with a sad smile. "In fact, you wouldn't have gotten past that first drink."

The weight of my mistake, my foolishness, slammed down on me. I messed up, yet fate tied me to her. I was going to have to work hard to earn her trust, and hopefully her friendship. Maybe after that we could acknowledge that other feeling; the one that drew us to each other. Maybe we could explore it.

I walked her out to her car, holding onto her waist in case she slipped again, and said goodbye with a promise to see her on Friday.


	14. A New Life, A New Beginning

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 14 – A New Life, A New Beginning<p>

It was only two days, but it felt like the longest two days of my life. I was jittery and nervous, my leg constantly bouncing as I waited for Friday afternoon to come.

I left my office early on Friday for our appointment. I couldn't stay at work any longer; I was too excited to concentrate.

I made it to the doctor's office nearly half an hour before the scheduled time. Bella walked in about fifteen minutes after I did and nearly tripped when she saw me waiting. Clearly shocked to see me, her surprise quickly morphed into the beautiful smile I tried to coax from her seven months before.

"You came," she whispered.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for anything," I reassured her.

Tears sprung to her eyes and I was immediately on my feet and at her side.

"Hey, hey, it's ok," I soothed, my thumbs brushing her tears away.

"I'm sorry… hormones," she explained, her hands waving at her eyes.

We sat and waited to be called back to the exam room, and Bella informed me of her upcoming baby shower. She asked if anyone from my family would be interested in attending and I thanked her, letting her know it would make my mother's year to be there. That put a smile on her face.

We were called back to the examination room where I helped Bella up on the table. The technician came in and prepped her, pulling her shirt up and skirt down, and then squirted some weird goo all over her stomach.

It was the first time I'd seen her stomach under her clothes and it was difficult to keep my hands to myself. I wanted to touch her.

"Ah, there she is," the technician said and smiled.

I looked up and almost couldn't contain my smile as I watched her moving around on the screen. My baby. My daughter.

There was a quick swooshing on one of the monitors. Her heart beat.

I made a baby.

The moment was surreal. It was unplanned and unknown, but I couldn't deny, as I looked at the screen, that she already held my heart in her itty bitty hands.

I turned to Bella and she was smiling at me. I couldn't help what I did next.

My hand cupped the back of her neck and pulled her head toward mine, crashing my lips to hers. She squeaked in surprise, but quickly melted against me. I didn't mean to do it, but I had an overwhelming need to be connected to her.

I pulled away and locked my eyes on hers. There was no anger in her gaze like I feared there might be, just surprise and what appeared to be… longing.

I smiled at her and didn't apologize because I wasn't the least bit sorry. I just sat back in my chair, my eyes refocusing back on the screen to view the life I had helped create.


	15. The Red Dress

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 15 – The Red Dress<p>

The next few weeks were like a whirlwind. I saw Bella multiple times a week, mostly due to the birthing and parenting classes, but she did agree to see me outside of those times.

The first couple of classes I watched her look around the room for me as she entered; her shoulders tense. I would greet her with a smile and she was always shocked to see me before she relaxed. It was as if she was waiting for me to _not_ show up, afraid I would just stop coming. Like she was waiting for me to fuck up and prove her right.

Our situation had been so delicate in the beginning. I didn't want to do anything that might stain its peace… which was difficult when one of the people in the situation was a hormonal pregnant woman.

Steadily we began to build trust in one another and she began greeting me with a beautiful smile each time, knowing I would be waiting for her. I was making good on my word, because I truly wanted to be there for her and our daughter, and I knew that in this situation actions spoke much louder than words; it was what she needed to believe in me. Words just wouldn't do.

After about a week and a half of classes and a dinner, things became easier. The chip I left on Bella's shoulder began to fade the more I was around and we got to know one another. Soon after, we gained our own established rhythm that we just… fell into.

We began to talk daily, email as well, getting to know each other. She told me about when she found out she was pregnant, freaking out, trying to find me but not knowing how, and how much her good friend Angela had helped her through it all. She told me how when she found out it was a girl, she cried because our daughter wouldn't know her father and that she had walked into a bookstore after the appointment to look at some parenting magazines when she saw my face in the corner of an engineering magazine.

I opened up and told her I never stopped thinking about her and was shocked when she said the same. I told her I wished I could undo everything and start from the beginning and never leave her house that morning.

We passed the awkwardness and established a friendship that we were genuinely happy in. She let me touch her stomach whenever I wanted, even when she wasn't in the mood to be touched. I would always give her a kiss, on the forehead, cheek, hair, hand, when I was done, thanking her for allowing me.

I think that action was what allowed us to become relaxed around one another, to the point where we always hugged goodbye… and every day it was growing harder and harder to let her go.

We talked some about custody, only briefly. Honestly, I didn't want to even think about not seeing my little girl every day. I'd grown very attached to her, very quickly, and what we talked about was not going to be nearly enough time with her. I had no idea how I would deal sharing custody.

With Bella's permission I gave her email to my mother and the two of them quickly became thick as thieves. They met for lunch about once a week, and my mother had also pushed her way into helping with the baby shower that was planned the following weekend. From what I gathered it was quite an event.

While over at Bella's apartment a few days after the shower, helping her move everything around, I was astounded to see how much stuff she had acquired. My mother had been a big culprit there; she was bound and determined to spoil my child more than any other child in existence.

"What is this thing?" I questioned, looking at some strange contraption.

"That's a pack and play. It's mobile. They can play in it, nap in it, it even has a changing station. Your mother bought it," Bella said as she tried to shuffle things around.

"Ha! My mother found a way so that you can come over without excuse, because it's all built into one!" I exclaimed, laughing at how Bella had been roped in by my mother.

She swatted my arm with a teddy bear. "I happen to like your mother very much. Elizabeth has been nothing but wonderful."

I smiled, diving back into the mess. As I worked to organize the mass of baby stuff, I looked around her apartment, my heart dropping. She wouldn't be living with me, she would be living here. This realization rocked me with a deep sadness, but right then, I didn't know how else it could be.

We finished up after about an hour and Bella plopped down on the rocking chair to relax. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, along with the wrapped box I had brought in with me. Walking back into the nursery, I handed the water to Bella, who was very grateful. I took a deep breath and placed the box in her lap while she was drinking.

"What's this?" she questioned, setting the glass down and picking up the box.

My hand moved to rub the back of my neck and I could feel my face flush. "It's… ummm, it's for her."

Bella smiled and I could see her eyes start to water. "Thank you."

Her fingers began to tear the wrapping off until it was all gone. Her hand moved over the top of the box almost reverently before finding the edge and lifting the lid. She shifted through the tissue paper and gasped, her hand covering her mouth, tears falling down her cheeks.

She lifted the small red Christmas dress from the box, holding it up in the air.

"I saw it in a department store a few days after you told me. I don't know what it was about it, but I went back a week later to get it."

"It's beautiful, Edward, thank you."

"She'll look beautiful dressed in it for Christmas pictures next year."

Bella nodded, took my hand in hers, and smiled at me. "Very beautiful."


	16. What's In A Name?

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 16 – What's in a name?<p>

I thought more and more about our living arrangements that night and for many nights after. Bella was across town from me and I didn't like that at all. I wanted to broach the possibility of an alternative, but everything was still so new. I didn't think she would be open to my suggestion quite yet.

We were opening up to one another more, getting to know each other. And the more I got to know her, the more I regretted my decision that morning, the more I hated myself for walking out her door. We resumed the banter and playfulness we had that night as we became more relaxed around one another. It reminded me of one of the things that kept me with her all night.

It was a Saturday, and Bella came over for lunch, bringing with her a few baby name books her friend Angela had loaned her. We had an enjoyable lunch, Bella having her usual unusual combination of foods, before moving into the great room to pour over the names listed.

"What about something classic?" she asked, squirming around on the sofa to try to find a comfortable position.

"Like Victoria, Elizabeth, etcetera?"

"Yeah. I love to read Emily Bronte and Jane Austen. I always loved the names; they're timeless."

I nodded in agreement. "Catherine, Jane, Lydia, Mary, Kitty." She smiled at my knowledge of her favorite authors characters. "Hmm, Lydia Masen… Catherine Masen."

She made a noise and I looked over to her, raising my eyebrow in question.

"Masen. I just… hadn't thought about the fact that she would have a different name than mine."

I didn't want to bring up the fact that one day I hoped maybe she would carry the name of Masen as well. I wasn't quite ready to let her know I was falling in love with her a little more every day; that every moment she was near me, I felt more and more certain she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

That scared the ever loving shit out of me.

_Fucking Lauren._

We continued going through the books, making a list of possible names. Eventually Bella's rotating and squirming led her to lying on her side resting her head on my leg, her own legs stretched out over the couch.

At some point, she fell asleep, her head still resting on my leg. She didn't look comfortable, so very gently I moved from under her, and leaned down to pick her up. She mumbled as her arms attempted to wrap around my neck, her right hand resting at my collar, fingers innocently caressing my neck lighting my skin on fire.

I took her into my bedroom and laid her down on the bed on her side. I reached down to grab the comforter, placing a kiss on her stomach before pulling the covers up. I grabbed the pillows, placing one between her legs, one under her stomach, and one for her to cuddle with.

Bella made the cutest sounds as she wrapped her arms around the pillow and burrowed into it. I brushed a few strands away from her face, lightly caressing her cheek.

"You're not the man I had built up in my mind, Edward Masen," she mumbled softly, her eyes closed.

"I'm not? Is that good or bad?" I questioned.

She smiled, her eyes opening slightly as her hand reached out to caress my cheek. "Much more than good."

I smiled and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders, placing a light kiss on her forehead.

"So are you," I whispered and retreated back into the living room.


	17. A Bump in the Night

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

**So, since was fail yesterday, there will be 3 updates today!**

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><p>Chapter 17 – A Bump in the Night<p>

A knocking, along with my doorbell ringing, woke me during the night a few days later. With blurry eyes I turned to look at the clock… it was almost one in the morning. I'd just fallen asleep. Throwing on some lounge pants I padded down the hall to the front door.

The sight before me when I opened it had me thinking I was still dreaming.

"Bella?" I questioned groggily, my voice still rough with sleep. She was standing at my door wearing a fluffy coat, yoga pants, and boots carrying a large body pillow.

"Hi, Edward," she replied with a nervous smile as I let her in out of the cold.

"What are you doing here at this hour, sweetheart? Is everything ok? Is the baby…"

I was cut off by Bella holding up her hand, my rising panic already subsiding.

"Everything's fine… well almost everything."

"Ok," I said wearily.

"I can't believe I'm here, saying this, but… I can't sleep… and I was hoping that I could… well, your bed was so comfortable the other day, and it was the best I'd slept in months, and I guess I'm here because I'm exhausted and I just want to sleep and really it boils down to me asking an entirely inappropriate question seeing as we are still getting to know one another and building trust and, well, I'm rambling now, but the reason I'm here, I wanted to ask… can I sleep with you?"

My eyes grew wide processing all she had said to my sleepy brain and her face flushed bright red.

"I don't mean sleep with you, sleep with you, in the sexual sense… though that wouldn't be so bad, I've been so fucking horny for weeks and you were so good at making me come," her eyes widened and her face grew impossibly more red. "I mean… shit."

She turned her head away in embarrassment.

I could feel my cock stir to life as the memories of her coming floated to the forefront of my mind. She was so fucking sexy when she came. I couldn't help but groan.

"Sorry, let me try this again," she said, then took a deep breath. "Edward, I can't sleep, I'm so uncomfortable, and on your bed I was able to sleep very well the other day. Can I, in a plutonic way, sleep in your bed with you tonight?"

I smiled down at her, pulled her pillow from her arm, and took her hand, leading her down to my bedroom.

"Come on, let's go to bed," I directed, smiling back at her.

She sighed and relaxed, squeezing my hand.

We crawled into bed, Bella wrapping around her large pillow, and settled into the covers. My eyes closed immediately, Bella's soothing presence washing over me.

"Hey, Edward?" she asked in a whisper, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?"

"Do you regret leaving that morning?"

My eyes opened and I was staring right into hers, barely visible in the dim light. "Every second of every day," I admitted and leaned forward to place a kiss on her hand.


	18. A Lunchtime Meeting

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

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><p>Chapter 18 – A Lunchtime Meeting<p>

My father agreed to meet me for lunch one day, which was surprising as he deemed leaving the office during the work day to partake in a social lunch as 'unprofessional'.

He arrived dressed to the nines, per usual, and didn't waste time asking why I wanted to see him, and why I couldn't have just come over to the house for dinner.

I watched him, comparing the two of us. While I might be his spitting image on the outside, with the exception of the color of my hair, we were very different on the inside.

"So, how do you feel about being a grandfather?" I asked after we ordered.

"Well, your mother won't stop gushing about this girl you knocked up. Which I don't think I need to remind you how stupid a move that was," he said, shaking his head.

I took in a deep breath and clenched my teeth. "It was irresponsible of me, but that doesn't matter now. What matters is my daughter."

"And what about your business? How is that going?"

"My company is doing great. We just hired on twenty people this month, we've landed a couple of large contracts, and I'll be hiring many more this year," I answered, though knowing that wasn't exactly what he was asking.

"Have you really thought all of this through, Edward?" he questioned as our food arrived. "Fatherhood? Children are a big undertaking, are you sure you're ready for it? Especially with a woman you don't even know?"

"Bella is a wonderful woman and she is going to be a fantastic mother," I said defensively, fuming. "There is nothing to think about, Dad, my baby will be here in a few weeks and I'm not going anywhere. I'm her father and just because her mother and I had an unusual beginning doesn't change a damn thing!"

My father sat back and raised his eyebrow. "Hmph! You've grown, haven't you, Edward? Taking your life by the reigns and not letting it drag you around. I'm proud of you, son."

I balked at him. "You are?"

"Yes. You are doing what's right, being a man and taking responsibility. That takes a good man, a strong man, and that, my son, is you. After you didn't go to college right away, I often wondered what would become of you. I knew you weren't a slacker, you were too damn smart, but you didn't want to be like me so you rebelled and carved your own way. It may have been riddled with mistakes, but it is your life, your path. Now, you have a growing company, a daughter coming soon, and a woman in your life who I think you have deep feelings for; who you may even love."

I smiled and shook my head. "Yeah, life is turning out a lot different, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

We ate lunch, our conversation turning more into work… I knew he'd find a way to make it a business lunch. After we finished eating we headed toward to the door to go our separate ways.

"Give me a call when it's time. I can't wait to meet my grandbaby," he said with a smile and began to walk away. "Oh, but for the next one I'd like a grandson."

I laughed. "I'll see what I can do. Bye, Dad."

"See you soon, son."

Feeling lighter I called Isabella up and told her about my lunch, smiling as I realized how close we had become.

Time was winding down and soon she would be here, and my world would be turned upside down. But, as I said, I wouldn't have it any other way.


	19. Moving On

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

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><p>Chapter 19 – Moving On<p>

I was starting to get jittery. Bella was closing in fast on her due date and if I didn't propose my idea soon, it wouldn't end up happening. I'd thought long and hard about it and how to go about explaining it to her so she might be open to the idea.

She came over for pizza and we ended up ordering salad as well. Luckily I had bought some chips and salsa at the grocery and didn't have to order them.

"Bella, I want to propose a pretty radical idea," I began, swallowing hard and setting my fork down.

"Ok," she said, but I could see the nervousness creep into her eyes.

"Move in with me."

All of Bella's movements halted and her eyes locked on mine. Her mouth opened to speak, but I held my hand out to stop her.

"Here is how I came to this idea, will you hear it?" I asked and she nodded, somewhat reluctantly. I took a deep steadying breath before launching into case. "You've slept here every night for the past week and there are still four more weeks until she's due. What happens after that? I really don't want to be separated from her after birth. I want to be there to help you with her. I don't want it to be all on you. We're in this together, Bella. I want to do this together. I know we still have a long way to go. I'm not proposing to sleep in the same room. You love my bed, I'll just move into one of the other bedrooms. It's going to be harder on you for the next couple of weeks and I could take care of you. My mom and aunt have already started the redecorating of one of the bedrooms for her. My place is bigger and I just… I really love having you here."

I held my breath once I was done talking, waiting on pins and needles for her reaction. The pained look on her face wasn't a good sign. Her gaze moved around the room before settling back on me.

My body was incredibly tense. If she didn't agree I didn't know what I would do. I wanted her there, I needed them there.

"Edward, I'm… reluctant. Because… I feel there's something happening between us, I can't deny that. I'm reluctant, because, well, six weeks isn't a lot of time to get to know one another. Are you saying this just to have her near?"

"No! Not just her, I want you as well, Bella. I love having you here," I admitted.

"You do?" she questioned and I knew she needed my reassurance that it wasn't just the baby. She needed to know I needed her as well.

"Bella, I wouldn't want you around so often, call you so much, email you all day long from work, if I only wanted her. I really like you, Bella, and I really want you to move in with me."

Faster than I thought she could move these days she leaned forward and took my head in her hands, crashing my lips to hers. Surprise soon melted and I was pulling her forward to sit on my lap as the kiss deepened. My body was singing at the feeling of her so close to me, my cock stirring to life as my hands roamed her sides.

Too soon it was over, and we were pulling away.

"Wow," she said breathlessly.

"Yeah, I second that."

"So, when is moving day?" she asked with a smile.

I beamed up at her and wrapped my arms around her for a hug. "Whenever you want, sweetheart, but sooner is better than later given the circumstances."

"This weekend then?"

I couldn't contain my happiness. "Perfect."

I nuzzled her nose, reveling in the moment, and how everything seemed to be coming together. My life seemed to be coming together, and in my future all I could see was Bella and our little girl.


	20. Moving Day

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

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><p>Chapter 20 – Moving Day<p>

I was still on fucking cloud nine a few days later. Bella agreed to move in with me. She confided in me that she was absolutely terrified of having to do everything on her own, especially since her mother had passed away a few years before and she really didn't have a mother figure around for guidance.

My mother was chomping at the bit to fill that role for her, all she had to do was ask.

I confiscated Emmett that Saturday, along with Bella's friend Angela, to pack up Bella's apartment. I hired a moving company to move things, most going to my place, a few things, mostly furniture, headed to a storage facility.

My mother and my aunt were also there, making sure Bella didn't lift a finger and stayed in her rocking chair while they packed up the nursery.

Luckily, timing was pretty much on our side in regards to Bella's lease. There was only two months left, and her landlord happened to have someone interested in the size of Bella's apartment.

It took the morning to get most of it packed up, and by the afternoon we were unpacking at my place.

"I'll just move this furniture to our house, so when you visit she'll be comfortable," my mother said later that day when we were moving things into the nursery.

"Elizabeth, it's fine," Bella protested as she looked over the two cribs, two changing tables, and two dressers.

"Bella, it is not fine. You already have furniture. Furniture that you picked out and purchased for your little girl. I know how important that is. It may be a little detail, but you chose those items for your child, that means something. I picked this stuff up, I purchased it for Edward to have here, so I'll just store it at my place for when you visit, or for babysitting," my mom said, reassuring Bella.

I moved on, carrying boxes to the bedroom where Angela was unloading them into the closet and dressers.

"You know, Edward, I thought you were a real jerk, an asshole, in the beginning," she said, taking the box from me.

"And now?" I questioned and tensed.

She smiled. "Now I see how happy she is and hope that you continue to always make her happy."

"I want her to be happy."

"I can tell. So, no more jackass moves, ok?"

"Promise."

We worked well into the night, Bella napped in the afternoon in 'her' comfy bed. The bed from her apartment was one of the things that went to storage. I moved some of my belongings into the spare bedroom just as I said I would. We'd slept, platonically, in the same bed for a week, and I missed her as I lay in bed, thinking.

It was after midnight when the door creaked open and I saw her figure standing in the doorway.

"Sweetheart, what is it?" I asked, my eyes fighting against the light coming from the hall.

She moved toward me and I could see her face etched in sadness. "I can't sleep. You're not there," she admitted. "Will you… come back to bed with me, please?"

The look on her face and her pleading was my undoing. I knew then I would do whatever she asked of me, whenever she asked.

Throwing the covers back I swung my legs over the edge and stood, taking her outstretched hand.

"Come on, let's go to bed," I said, placing a small kiss on her lips.

She smiled up at me and turned to walk back to the master bedroom where she crawled onto her side and the four or five pillows she had all around to support her. Her hand reached out, taking mine and I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a day when my body could be curled around her instead of just my hand.


	21. Thin Ice

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

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><p>Chapter 21 - Thin Ice<p>

Having Bella at my place was great, even with her hormonal swings. I brushed her outbursts off, hoping they were just do to her hormones and getting used to being around each other all the time, and did everything I could just to make her happy, especially after she threatened to leave. I hadn't done anything wrong… except not get enough variety of food from the grocery. Apparently, all I had purchased was either 'rabbit food' or cold cuts, and neither appealed to her. Though I knew there was more, but I wasn't going to argue with the pregnant woman. I wasn't suicidal.

That was the last time I made that mistake. Knowing her penchant for Mexican mixed with Chinese and Italian, I bought everything in the foreign foods aisle at the grocery. The one staple that always had to be around was chips and salsa, so I made sure they were always stocked.

We continued sleeping in my bed together as we had that first week. It was a good thing I had a king sized bed, because her pillows took up half of the bed. I loved being near her, near them. I felt calm in her presence, and calm knowing if something happened in the middle of the night I was right there to help.

We were caught in a weird limbo between friendship and more. It was natural, but still an odd place to be. I wanted to kiss her, and kiss her often, but I didn't know if we were really there yet. We'd shared a few kisses, but they were all in response to some event.

"Ugh, I am such a fat cow right now," she complained one morning as she looked at her profile in a dress in the mirror

"No, you're not!" I argued as I draped a tie around my neck and under my collar.

"No? Then what do I look like to you?" she snapped, turning to look at me, her arms crossing over her chest.

"The most beautiful woman I've even seen," I said without missing a beat and smiling.

She rolled her eyes, her arms unfolding. "Yeah, right."

I moved in front of her, cupping her face in my hand and raising her eyes to mine.

"Bella, to me, there is no woman more beautiful than you, especially right now."

She pouted. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Be all sweet."

"I'm only telling you the truth," I said as I walked toward her and leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.

Bella had other ideas though, and tilted her head up so that my lips met hers. I moaned as she wrapped her arms around my neck and up into my hair. My hands moved to rest on the sides of her stomach.

"You can kiss me, Edward, it's ok."

"Why… why is it ok?" I questioned, stunned by her actions.

"Because I like you, too," she declared. "Why else would I have agreed to move in?"

"So, I can do this then?" I questioned, leaning down and kissing her again.

"Mm-hmm."

My hands pressed slightly into her stomach to feel my little girl, but what I felt instead was the muscle hardening. Bella's happy face turned to pain and she leaned over a little, groaning as her hand twisted into my shirt.

"Are you ok? Is it time? Do we need to go to the hospital?"

"No, it's fine. They've been going on for a few days now, the doctor said it's perfectly normal," she stated, rubbing her stomach as she straightened back out. "See, much better."

"You'll call me… "

"Sssh," she soothed, her fingers trying to smooth the lines on my forehead. "I'll call you the moment anything interesting happens."

I pursed my lips.

"She'll be here soon enough, when she wants to."

After another morning kiss I headed out the door and to the office and Bella did the same. She was only ten days away from her due date and it was going to be her last day at work before going on maternity leave.

I was going insane, waiting impatiently for my daughter to arrive.


	22. Dday

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

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><p>Chapter 22 – D-day<p>

I was in the middle of a meeting with our largest account when my phone began to vibrate on the conference table. Seven sets of eyes turned to me and I looked down to find Bella's number calling me.

"Bella?" I questioned, answering the call despite the onlookers.

"It was more than just some mild contractions. My water just broke."

"Shit!" I cursed, panic rising. The baby was coming.

"Angela is taking me to the hospital right now."

"Ok, I'm on my way. I'll see you shortly," I said before standing from my chair. "Sorry, gentleman, my baby decided that she wants to come early, so I'm going to have to postpone this meeting."

I picked up my files and phone and ran out the door, not even waiting for a response. I told Emily what was going on and had her cancel all of my meetings or direct them to the VP.

Twenty minutes after Bella's call I was pulling up to the hospital and running in. I called my mom once I found out what room she was in and probably looked like a madman when I burst through her door.

"I'm here!" I yelled as I entered and tried to catch my breath.

Bella smiled at me from the hospital bed as the nurses attached her to multiple machines.

"Hi, Daddy, welcome to the party," she beamed at me and I smiled back.

She was almost here. After all these months, after all my mistakes, she was finally coming. I would finally see her. I sighed as I felt the most amazing sense of peace settle within me.

Minutes passed, then hours. Hours turned into over a day. I was beginning to freak out that something was wrong, that the baby wasn't okay.

It was Bella who calmed me. All she had to do was touch me and instantly I forgot what I was going on about.

Her labor was intense. We were closing in on thirty hours and were almost at the finish line.

"You're doing great, sweetheart," I praised, wiping her brow, and brushing her sweat soaked locks behind her ear.

Tears welled in her eyes, her hand limp in mine. She was exhausted, progress had been slow and she was completely drained.

"I can't," she sobbed.

"Yes, you can," I encouraged. "Baby, you can do this."

"We're almost there, Bella. I know you're tired, but I need you to give one more hard push, ok?" the doctor asked.

Bella weakly nodded before bracing down, her hand clamping on mine with all the strength she had left. A scream from the effort echoed off of the walls.

A moment later Bella collapsed back on the bed. Everything was silent, each fraction of a second hanging in the air until her cry broke through the silence. I squeezed Bella's hand at the sound and she weakly returned mine.

I could see the nurses doing various things before wrapping her up and bringing her over. They laid her in Bella's open arms and I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I leaned down and kissed Bella before my eyes focused on the bundle in her arms.

There she was, our little girl, and she was perfect. Her eyes struggled to open, but when they did she looked right at me and in that moment I knew I would never love anything more than her. She was mine, she was part of me. She had my heart and I would never be the same.


	23. Love Is A Many Splendid Thing

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

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><p>Chapter 23 – Love Is A Many Splendid Thing<p>

I stared down at my little girl while Bella slept. She was wrapped in a hospital blanket and little pink hat. Her tiny little fingers were balled into fists as she stretched against the blanket.

Perfect. She was perfect in every way. Lydia Renee Masen.

I smiled as I remembered Bella and I settling on a first name, we both loved traditional names and Lydia was an easy mutual decision. She would have my last name, but we were stuck on a middle name. Everything we thought of just didn't seem right. Then one evening it came to me.

I knew Bella deeply missed her mother and when I asked what her mother's name was and she replied "Renee", I knew instantly that we had found our daughter's middle name. Bella cried when I suggested it, agreeing that is was a perfect tribute to a wonderful woman.

"I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Edward Anthony Masen Junior and I'm your daddy," I said, looking down on my beautiful baby girl. She looked up and me, her beautiful big eyes fighting against the light.

I could feel tears sting my eyes. I'd almost missed it, almost missed her.

"Mommy and I had a… unconventional start and daddy has some trust issues, but he really wants to make things right with mommy. Your mommy is such a wonderful woman. She is so strong and brave, beautiful and kind, and is one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. I was stupid, made a few mistakes, but I want to be with her. I swear I'm going to do everything I can to make her happy. Maybe you can help convince her to go out on a date with daddy… when she's ready. Daddy really wants to take her out."

I picked her up and cradled her in my arms, kissing her on the forehead as I swayed her lightly. "The truth is, I'm falling in love with mommy and I need to figure out how to make her fall in love with me. I know I messed up and shouldn't ask for something like that, but your mommy is so wonderful, I don't ever want to lose her. Daddy was hurt by someone and he fears having that pain again, but I don't think mommy would hurt me, not anymore."

She squirmed lightly in my arms, stretching. "Can you keep a secret, my sweet?" I said in a whisper. "Daddy… really loves mommy already."

I heard a gasp from across the room and lifted my head to find Bella's gaze locked on me, tears in her eyes. My eyes grew wide, realizing what she had just heard. I'd thought she was still asleep.

"Edward…" she trailed off.

I looked away and my jaw tensed. Fuck! I really hadn't meant for her to hear that, I wasn't ready for her rejection.

"You don't need to come up with a plan to make me fall in love with you," she spoke softly, but I couldn't look at her. I just held my angel tight. "Because I've been falling in love with you for months."

My head snapped to look at her. It couldn't be true, could it?

"In fact, I don't think there was ever any doubt that I would love you. So, you may be stuck with me, dirty old man."

I beamed at her, my smile practically covering my face. My heart was leaping in my chest.

"So, you might then consider allowing me to take you out on a proper date?"

"I think I might be persuaded," she said with a smile, her finger tapping her lips.

I walked to her and leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Hmm, I may need a little more persuasion," she teased and I smiled.

I leaned down, with my angel still in my arms, and kissed her again. Harder, this time, trying to convey all of the feelings I had for her.

"Looks like we're going to need to find a babysitter," she said as our lips parted.

"My mother is more than begging," I offered, and she laughed, knowing full well it was true.

"So, where do we go from here?"

"Home," I answered. "We go home."

Five points in my life led me to where I was today, led me to being a father. Five mistakes I made, some big and some small; all life altering in some way.

Good or bad, none of that mattered, not anymore.

Because, they all led me to you.

The End

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this one shot that grew too big for a one shot and turned into a drabble! There will be an epi posted tomorrow, so you can see what became of Edward, Bella, and baby Lydia.<strong>

**Many thanks to all who read and reviewed, I love reading all your comments. **

**Now that I have gotten the fluff out of my system, back to Breach! and all the other stories I have in progress.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	24. Epilogue: My Girls

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her toys.**

**Many thanks to Midnight Cougar for her beta'ing and support! xo!**

* * *

><p>Epilogue: My Girls<p>

My arms pulled her closer, my cheek resting on the top of her head as our bodies swayed back and forth. I loved having her close to me; it was the best place to be on earth – my 'happy place' - wrapped in the arms of the one you love.

It was my fortieth birthday and I was spending it in a much different way than I had my previous change of decade. As I looked back, it was amazing how much my life had changed.

There was no going out to dinner with Emmett and then him taking me to a bar, he was busy with his three kids. No, I was at home, dancing around the living room with my beautiful wife, before we headed out for a family dinner.

Bella and I married shortly after Lydia's second birthday. We were on our honeymoon when I knocked her up again… on my thirty third birthday. Valerie was born two weeks after Lydia's birthday, and immediately began doing things at her own pace and her own way. It was a trait that continued.

Elly arrived less than two years after Valerie, making our home a wild place to be with three children under five. I still wonder how we survived. If ever there was a time in the last ten years that Bella and I had troubles, it was in Elly's first year. She was sick, a lot, and slept terribly, which in turn meant we slept terribly. Add in two toddlers and it was bound to get ugly. It was definitely one of the 'worst' parts, in the 'for better or worse'.

We waited a little bit longer before even thinking about having more, three kept us extremely busy, but after a few years Bella went off birth control and we decided to just let it be. That was when Annabelle arrived, our youngest at just five months old. Annabelle reminded me a lot of Lydia at that age, just a sweet, sweet baby. We had it easy with Lydia, and Annabelle was the same.

Would we have more kids? Who knew? Bella was thirty seven now, so Annabelle could possibly be our last, but we weren't doing anything to prevent more.

My father never did get a grandson, but he loved his granddaughters almost more than my mother.

Oh, my mother. I needed to erect a shrine to her. There could be no greater blessing to stressed out parents than an eager grandparent waiting to swoop in and take them away. I think she was the only reason we made it through the madness some times.

Bella's father was still alive, and we sent an olive branch out in the form of a letter containing pictures of his grandchildren, but we received no response. It hadn't been since Bella was a preteen that she last saw her father, and almost as long since she last talked to him. It didn't seem as if their estranged relationship would ever change.

My business grew just as fast as my family did, but I employed far more people than in relation to our children. I had over two thousand employees now and had become a leader in contract engineering and machining. Needless to say, Bella eventually quit her job, just before Val was born, and became a stay at home mom. That was more due to doctors' orders than anything, the stress of her job making her second pregnancy more difficult.

There was never a dull moment in our home; that was for certain. After Val came along we realized the apartment wasn't where we wanted to raise them, so we moved to the suburbs and into a large five bedroom home. Yes, we knew more kids would come our way and the size was in anticipation of their arrival. Especially since Bella was already pregnant with Elly at the time.

I was working from home half of the time, not wanting Bella to have to manage them all by herself. Thankfully, I had a VP I trusted completely, something I learned from Bella, and I also learned to delegate and handed over many responsibilities to him, freeing up some of my time. I didn't want to be like my father who went to work, came home and ate dinner, then fell asleep on the couch, not interacting with his children except to ask how school was or the status of Report Card grades. Elly was often found in the office with me on my lap 'helping' me. I had the feeling she was going to grow up to be an engineer; she was fascinated by it all. That and she was a daddy's girl. Probably due to when she was sick and I took care of her while Bella looked after the other two. Lydia and Annabelle tended more toward Bella, where Val… was Val.

I pulled Bella closer to me as we swayed around the living room. I could hear the girls in the other rooms destroying something and screaming at one another, but that was an hourly occurrence, so we just stayed right where we were; reveling in the love and peace we felt being in each other's arms. If there was a real emergency, we'd hear it.

Annabelle sat on the floor a few feet away playing with her toys, giggling as she watched us.

I loved my wife, I loved her so much. She was the air I breathed, the calm in our hectic storm, and my best friend.

She was also just as fucking sexy as the day I met her.

My hands moved up and down her sides, caressing, as I leaned down to kiss her. She moaned when my lips met hers, my tongue searching out hers. I found the hem of her shirt and slid my hands beneath the fabric. Her skin was so soft beneath my fingers and I greedily wanted more.

"Can't we have a nice quiet dinner alone, so I can fuck you until we both pass out?" I pleaded breathlessly.

I wanted her, I needed her.

"No, because your parents are coming as well."

"But, it's my birthday," I whined, my hands running down and grabbing her ass, lifting her up. "And I want you."

"Well, Mr. Masen, dinner first. But don't worry, baby, I have a surprise planned for this weekend," she said with a saucy smirk.

"A surprise, Mrs. Masen?" I asked, curious.

She stood on her toes and whispered into my ear. "You, me, and that little outfit you bought me for Valentine's day…" My cock twitched just thinking about her in that fuck hot little number. "… the silk scarfs, and a babysitter for Saturday and Sunday."

I grabbed her tight and groaned, pushing my erection into her stomach letting her know just how wound up she had me. "Baby, it's not nice to tease me."

She took her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled mischievously up at me. "Maybe if you're quick we could…"

"Mommy! Daddy!" Lydia yelled, running into the room, Val and Elly right behind her, ruining our little moment.

Bella gave me an apologetic smile and I attempted to calm my cock as we turned to the girls.

Elly ran and wrapped her arms around my leg, smiling up at me, and I leaned down and picked her up. Val came to my other side and leaned into me.

"You're dancing without us," Val pouted.

Bella let out a giggle. "Well, sometimes mommy and daddy like to dance together."

"I'm hungry, what time is dinner?" Lydia whined.

"Hungry," Elly imitated in a whisper.

I chuckled at her. "Soon, Mimi and Grampy will be here in a few minutes and then we'll go."

"Happy birfday, daddy," Elly said sweetly, kissing my cheek.

"Thank you, baby girl."

I felt Val pull on my shirt and looked down to see she had a piece of paper in her hand. "What's this?" I questioned, taking what she offered.

"Happy Birthday, Daddy," Val said and smiled up at me.

"We made it for you," Lydia informed me.

I opened it up and inside was a drawing. It was us, my family; Bella and I, Lydia, Valerie, Elly, and little Annabelle. Our house was in the background and scrawled across the top in Lydia's messy handwriting 'Happy Birthday Daddy! We Love You!'.

I could feel the tears prick at my eyes and I reach out to pull Lydia into my arms. I kissed her on the top of her head as I hugged my three oldest daughters.

"Thank you so much, my beautiful girls, it's the perfect birthday card. I love you all so much, you have no idea," I said, kissing each of them in turn.

Bella picked Annabelle up off the floor and joined us. I gave a kiss to both of them and sighed in content.

I couldn't describe the love I felt for my family in that moment, all wrapped around me. This was my home, wrapped in the love of my girls.

If five mistakes could lead me to all of this wonderment, I would gladly make them all again.


End file.
